Waiting to Exhale

No news yet since we met with "Marsha" and "Martin" on Tuesday. Xavier Joaquín is three weeks old today. We keep holding him and loving him. We jump each time the phone rings.

Our nerves are pretty fried. There's no direct action to take, and the decision is not really in our hands. We try to remain in hope and compassion. All we can do is love him while he's with us, even knowing that open hearts risk greater pain. There's a tightness in my chest that I try to breathe through and let go, but it stays with me.

We have the weekend ahead of us, then all day Monday. Perhaps at midnight we will finally be able to sleep.