The Meeting

This morning we got the news that "Marsha" wanted again to keep the baby. After a flurry of phone calls, the plan became that we were to go to the agency with Xavier Joaquín and meet "Marsha" and "Martin."We'd wanted to meet them since initially adopting Avery Javier, but today was the first time that the four of us were together in one room.

Julia and Marsha immediately embraced and cried together. The next hour and a half was a blur, but we talked about our lives, about the boys, about how complicated these decisions can be. Marsha and Martin were incredibly open with us and shared freely about their relationship and their decisions. We shared about how Avery Javier was growing up, and how Xavier Joaquín has been developing so far. There were also long moments of silence. Not uncomfortable, though. Just sitting together and feeling love for the baby and compassion for each other. We liked them very much, and they said they felt the same for us. And we agreed that however this may turn out for Xavier Joaquín, we would love to stay in touch with them, and for Avery Javier to know them as well.

Xavier Joaquín is still with us this afternoon. Marsha and Martin said that it was too difficult to give a final decision there in the office. They wanted to take a few more days to let us know. At this point we just wait. We are glad to have met them, and it has helped us be more at peace with the waiting. We know in our hearts that we all want what is best for Xavier Joaquín. What a lucky kid to have four parents wanting to love him.

Still at home

We were packing up diapers, bottles, and all the new baby stuff to get ready to take Joaquín back to the agency when we got another call. "Marsha" apparently called called the agency this morning crying and apologetic, that of course she wants what's best for the baby, and that she wants him to be raised with his big brother in a two parent home, and to please ignore her previous request to take him back. She said she was so sorry to be putting us through this.

The reality of the situation is that letter she sent by FedEx to the agency yesterday legally terminates her surrender of the baby. That means that to move forward from here she'll have to sign new surrender papers, and we'll have another 10 days to wait after that. We're looking at December 5th as the new final date.

This is really hard for us, and it must be so much harder for Marsha. Thank you to all who have been holding Joaquín in thoughts and prayers, and if your compassion can extend to Marsha as well, we hope for her grief and suffering to ease. May we all find peace in these difficult times.

The bottom line is Joaquín is still with us. And Julia's birthday today just got a whole lot happier. 

Happy birthday, my love.

Heartbroken

"Marsha" wants Joaquín back. We got the call tonight and we are to bring him to the agency tomorrow morning. Please keep him in your thoughts and prayers.

Home with Xavier Joaquín

We are home now with the new baby. Lots of ups and downs along the way. We thought we would meet him yesterday, but it turned out to be today instead. I will eventually want to write more about how the past couple of days have felt, but I am honestly too tired at the moment to put everything down in words. Let me just say that we feel very blessed.

So what's next? On the roadmap of an adoption in our state, I guess the 10-day wait is the next big landmark. For more information, you may be interested in reading how things happened last time around.  But for me, for now, it's off to sleep...

Arrival

Baby boy born last night. We may get to meet him as early as tomorrow night. More details as they emerge.

Inducing Labor

So we heard today that they'll begin inducing labor tomorrow, a week earlier than we thought. Check back tomorrow for more details!

Home Study

Yes, we have to do another home study. It seems so much easier than before. As I read over the requirements I think: "Oh yeah, I know just where the city government office is that provides the 911 records." Last time through my thoughts were "What?!? Where are we going to get a record of 911 calls for our home? Why would they even need that?!?"

I feel much calmer the second time around.

Fingerprints? Check. Drug screen? Check. Physical exam from my doctor? Check. With each new set of documents I've been putting a little number sign in the corner and indicating which of the 30-odd requirements we've just met.

The big news is that we just heard that "Marsha" has lost her mucus plug. I had to look that up online to find out it means that delivery might be just around the corner. So it seems that the new baby might arrive before the official Nov. 17 due date. We'll just have to wait and see...