My dearest Javier,
I know there will be many days when you question how you ended up here. I know you will struggle inside with questions about the circumstances of your birth and your birthparents. I know that one day you will ask me and your dad if your birth parents really loved you. I know that one day in desperate anger, you will likely scream something at me like, "You're not even my real mother!"
I know this struggle will hurt you at times. I will want to hold you tight and rock you like a baby. And I will for as long as you will let me. But I know that as you grow, you will be tasked with finding your own peace inside.
I pray that in those moments of questioning and struggle that sometimes you will be able to look back at pictures from this very day. And I hope that in those pictures you can see the depth and breath of what it means to have all of us here: your family.
To each of us, we have gathered here without question - we have gathered here without forethought, because it is natural to us that you have always been ours.
All my love,
Mom
Monday, September 6, 2010
Thursday, September 2, 2010
To Javi from Papi on Finalization Day
Dear Javi,
Yesterday was a pretty great day. Let me tell you all about it.
Your mom said she wanted to sleep in (and let you sleep, too) so I blew you a kiss in your crib and took the car to school. A couple of hours later I got a string of text messages from your mom saying that you guys were walking to school to get the car and go get coffee. I imagined that you were in your big stroller, but actually you were on your mom's back in a carrier. She is pretty fearless.
What was really cool for me was that you arrived in my classroom just in time to meet my kids coming back in from the playground. You were so interested in them. It looked like you wanted to eat them! (Considering you might be much older when you read this let me remind you - right now you like to put everything in your mouth, including your feet.)
My class wanted to know all about you, including whether you could talk yet (no) or if you cry much (only when you are hungry) and if you like to dance (very much!) I also got to tell them that this was a very special day in your life, the day that we would finalize your adoption. Some kids knew more about adoption than others. One told about how she celebrates a birthday and a "gotcha" day every year. I told her we would be doing that with you, too.
Later you came back to pick me up from school. Grumps and Sarah were there, and we all rode downtown to the courthouse. We met the lawyer who had done all the paperwork, and we were soon joined by Tangela, Grandma and Joanna, Kristi and Olivia and Madeline and Kristian, and last but not least Tita.
The judge was very kind. He smiled at us when we forgot to stand up, and he reminded us all that this was really a celebration. I think it was his favorite part of the day. Your mom and I got to say "yes" to a bunch of questions, and then the judge said "Congratulations! Who has a camera?"
There were at least three cameras in the courtroom. The bailiff got mad because he thought there shouldn't be any at all. I think you should know that your Grumps got his camera to the courtroom by following the procedures, which included surrendering it at a security desk and then having someone retrieve it. Mommy Kristi got her camera in by standing her ground against the security desk until they finally let her walk in with it. Grandma got hers in through... well, I'm not quite sure. But she was willing to face the bailiff's wrath to get footage of you on your special day. I think it may be useful to know how these people who love you get things done as you plan your future escapades.
We all gathered for dinner at Kristi's house, and were joined by Brian, Tito, Wes and Christy and Ian, and Maria and Vincent and Sara. I think it was the first time you had seen so many people in your family together in the same place, and you were a little overwhelmed. But maybe it was just that you were teething. We all wrote you letters and put them in a basket to save them for when you are older, but I bet I know what they all say:
We love you so much. We are so happy you are in our lives, and that we are in yours. Happy finalization day.
With all my heart,
Papi
Later you came back to pick me up from school. Grumps and Sarah were there, and we all rode downtown to the courthouse. We met the lawyer who had done all the paperwork, and we were soon joined by Tangela, Grandma and Joanna, Kristi and Olivia and Madeline and Kristian, and last but not least Tita.
The judge was very kind. He smiled at us when we forgot to stand up, and he reminded us all that this was really a celebration. I think it was his favorite part of the day. Your mom and I got to say "yes" to a bunch of questions, and then the judge said "Congratulations! Who has a camera?"
There were at least three cameras in the courtroom. The bailiff got mad because he thought there shouldn't be any at all. I think you should know that your Grumps got his camera to the courtroom by following the procedures, which included surrendering it at a security desk and then having someone retrieve it. Mommy Kristi got her camera in by standing her ground against the security desk until they finally let her walk in with it. Grandma got hers in through... well, I'm not quite sure. But she was willing to face the bailiff's wrath to get footage of you on your special day. I think it may be useful to know how these people who love you get things done as you plan your future escapades.
We all gathered for dinner at Kristi's house, and were joined by Brian, Tito, Wes and Christy and Ian, and Maria and Vincent and Sara. I think it was the first time you had seen so many people in your family together in the same place, and you were a little overwhelmed. But maybe it was just that you were teething. We all wrote you letters and put them in a basket to save them for when you are older, but I bet I know what they all say:
We love you so much. We are so happy you are in our lives, and that we are in yours. Happy finalization day.
With all my heart,
Papi
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