Meeting the Grandparents

We recently met with the birthmother's parents for lunch, together with the head of the adoption agency. We went into this meeting not really knowing what was going to happen, and full of anxiety. While we left the meeting with some new facts (It's a BOY!!!) we also left with the feeling that the real purpose of the meeting was for the grandparents to see us in real life, probably for the first and last time. While we'd hoped for an open adoption, we're willing to do whatever "Marsha" wants. It appears that she wants to avoid direct communication with us, which is why we met her parents.

We gave the grandparents a gift of two photo albums, one for them and one for Marsha. The adoption agency will require us to send pictures to the agency at regular intervals, but whether or not the family wants to receive them is still uncertain.

From my side of the table, I was relieved and pleased to meet the grandparents. It's clear that they love and care for their daughter very much, and are protective of her in this situation. Her dad said something like "Choosing you guys 'on paper' is one thing, but it's nice to be able to look someone in the eye and shake their hand." I couldn't agree more.

Here are some things we learned:
We'll get a call from the adoption agency with Marsha goes into labor. She was early with her two current children, so it could be very soon.
We'll get another call when the baby is born with basic info like size/weight.
The baby will stay at the hospital for 48 hours before discharge.
The agency is requesting that we not come to the hospital before discharge. This is a precaution because this particular hospital (not where we'd thought before) isn't particularly friendly to adoptions, and the agency wants to minimize the risk that the staff might pressure Marsha to change her mind. We trust the agency's read on the situation.
After 72 hours, Marsha will be able to legally surrender her child.
She still has 10 days after surrender to change her mind.
Once the 10 days are over we are free and clear.

We still have one more meeting with our Home Study caseworker to complete. Hoping to blog about it early this coming week!